


Some Comfort for the Dean Girls

by thinkinghardhardlythinking



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:14:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26583469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinkinghardhardlythinking/pseuds/thinkinghardhardlythinking
Summary: Struggling to process my end of show feelings I wrote this fluffy/angsty story about Dean.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/You
Comments: 12
Kudos: 16





	Some Comfort for the Dean Girls

It’d been coming for a while, this goodbye, and you hated it. For weeks, Dean had been joking around and being typically Dean about it.

“Hey, who knows where we’ll all be in a few weeks, may as well get the extra bacon.”

“You can listen to that crap when I’m gone, it won’t be long, sweetheart, but for now, Metallica is happening.”

And of course, “You can sleep when I’m gone, I’m here now, come here and how about you take this off…”

And occasionally some bullshit about ‘Chick flick moments.’ Whatever. You’d heard him say stuff like that to Sam before and were happy for that to be their thing. You had gotten the message, Dean didn’t want a long drawn out emotional scene.

Which was fine. But you still had to say goodbye and you really didn’t know how to do that. You’d said goodbye to Sam last night before he’d gone to see Eileen on his farewell tour and that’d nearly broken you.

“You take care, Sammy.” you’d said, knowing you were giving him the lead in he needed.

“It’s Sam.’ he had said, with kindness in his voice and a bittersweet smile on his face. He’d pulled you in for a trademark massive Sam hug. And after you’d thought, well this is horrible. It felt….horrible. And sad.

But then he’d gone and it was Dean and you. The boys had said you could stay in the bunker but that seemed weird without them. You didn’t want to think about the fact that you didn’t know what was going to happen and what with the boys going up against God, you couldn’t really let yourself go there, even in your thoughts. This was the problem with loving heroes you thought, they had to go off and save the world. They were going to save the world, knowing them, you were sure of it, but it was likely that they wouldn’t come back to you from this fight. Whatever happened, and the uncertainty itself was difficult to process, they’d likely be somewhere you couldn’t follow. And that hurt. Deeply. You couldn’t stay in the bunker. They got it and Dean was driving you to your old apartment in the morning.

But you had tonight.

You’d packed. You’d wandered around the bunker saying goodbye to its corridors and crevices, holding back tears, sometimes not successfully. Dean made burgers, and you joked around and pretended everything was normal, both of you ignoring the elephant in the room. Beers turned to whiskey, and Dean was reminiscing.

“….that cat was actually scarier than you’d think. You know, they have all kinds of diseases.”

“Yeah, yeah…it was all reasonable.” You said, “Not an overreaction at all. Not a very funny, entirely adorable overreaction.”

“Y’know, Y/N…,” he said, sitting forward, his gaze shifting from your eyes to your lips. “You do realise, it’s pretty much my last night on Earth?”

“You’re not dying tomorrow, Dean.”

He shrugged and pulled a face that was annoyingly just as sexy as it was smug.

“Hey none of us know what tomorrow might bring.” He raised an eyebrow and reached for you, pulling you closer. His swagger and his charm had always been your weak spot. He was irresistible. Not that you were trying to resist. He kissed you and, like always, it felt like magic. “Bed or…..?” He looked towards the table in the library, where you were sat. You looked at the D.W. and S.W carved into the table. Nope, you couldn’t think about that and how sad it made you.

“Take me to bed, you gorgeous idiot.” You said

And he did. And as you lay, with his arm around you, head lying on his chest, after, you tried, really tried to keep the sadness at bay but it was hard. You and Dean had always been honest, brutally so. That was just how you were, it was the way you told him that you found his cowboy obsession, bizarre. It was the way he told you that Sam made better grilled cheese sandwiches.

“Dean, I’m going to miss you so much. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this.”

He squeezed you in his arms and shifted his shoulder so you were looking up at him.

“You know, I’ve always tried to be brave. I always wanted to be. Thought it was what my parents would’ve wanted, what Sammy needed. Sometimes, I succeeded. Sometimes, I didn’t. Fuck it, sometimes you just have to do whatever you have to do and whether you’re brave or you’re screaming inside, you do it all the same. You’ll get through this because you will. Because you’re strong, that’s why you always got along so well with us, we knew from the start you were like us, I think you knew too?”

“What, arrogant and cocky and-“

His hand reached up to cup your cheek and moved slowly into your hair as he leant in closer.

“Oh really?’ he said, muttering in a quiet but tender mocking voice as he moved to kiss you softly

“….and sexy and brave and offensively good looking.” You said as he pulled away, smiling at you.

“Yeah, something like that.”

God, when he smiled it just broke you open. You knew the chick flick rule but you also knew you were going to cry. You hated this, he was going off to save the world, to be a hero, again - and you couldn’t even keep your shit together to do the one thing he’d asked. You turned your face away, frustrated.

‘Hey….’ he said, gently putting his fingers under your chin and lifting your head, meeting your gaze and searching your eyes, he looked concerned and so loving, it made you even sadder.

‘I’m sorry…’ you said.

‘Hey, you don’t ever have to be sorry to me. It’s OK.’

‘But the chick flicks…’

He let out a laugh, “Oh, man, fuck it. Tell me. Tell me whatever you want to say, I want to know, we’ve never hidden things from each other, why start now…well, not since that night when we left Sam with his lore books and went to that bar, and you wore that dress, oof…” He trailed off for a second, lost in a memory before he regrouped “and I couldn’t not kiss you….not since then….do you remember?”

“Of course, best night of my life, we slept in your baby, I can still hear the rain on the roof….” you said, shutting your eyes, it really was a beautiful memory.

“I don’t remember sleeping….”

God, his cheeky flirty thing was as predictable as it was adorable and it always made you smile despite yourself. Every. Damn. Time.

“Go on, baby, say it. Whatever it is. I want to hear it. I knew we couldn’t keep talking about old hunts and motel rooms all night…although, that cowboy themed one was…it was fun….I don’t care what you and Sam say….”

“OK. I love you….”

“I know.” He said, smiling, practically grinning at you, “I love you too, have for a long time.”

‘….AND…’ you said, scared that you would get distracted by his green eyes and how his cute his freckles were this close up ‘…I’ve loved YOU for a long time. I’m scared something bad is going to happen. To you. Or Sam. Or both. And I don’t know how to say goodbye to you. And I know I have to.’

You looked up at him as he stroked your cheek, so tenderly. He was so gung ho and cock sure with the rest of the world, but when he was so gentle and loving like this, he was ‘Your Dean’.

“I get it. I don’t know how to say it either. But, here’s some things I do know. OK? I know that what we’ve had, all this time, it’s special and it’s more than a lot of people get. I know the memories we have and the things we’ve shared are the best things I’ve had in my life. Honestly, the best. I know goodbyes aren’t always goodbye. And I know, I have always known, that this life of mine? It was going to end bloody or it was gonna end bad. It’s the life. And that’s OK. That’s always been OK. Blaze of glory. That’s the way it was always going to be. I’ve never been good at letting go of people, never managed to do it easy, Sam’ll tell you, so I’m not telling you to do that…” His eyes were starting to well up now, too. He’d gone from being strong but playful to genuinely struggling with what he was trying to say. He looked sad, the emotion all over his face, and a tear ran down his face and you wiped it away, like he had wiped yours. You hated seeing him like this but you needed to hear what he had to say.

“I’m telling you I know it’ll hurt and you’ll miss us, but you be strong and you keep fighting like you’ve always done, like we’ve all always done. Even if we aren’t here,” he held your hands and squeezed for emphasis, “…baby, I’m still with you, we’re still with you. I’ll be thinking of you wherever I am, so you think of me too, and try to remember the good things more than the sad, OK? Remember us driving in my baby, remember us laughing, remember all the times we had, remember what it sounds like when I tell you how beautiful you are, remember all the things that make you happy. Because I always loved making you happy. And now, I’m going to make you proud.”

‘I’m always proud of you, D-‘

“I know. And I’m going to make myself proud. And Sammy too. And my Mom and my Dad, Bobby, everyone. And everything Sam and I have ever done, will mean something. The way you love us, the way you love me? It means something…..Hey, you remember that wooden version of that necklace Sam gave me, it was on my baby’s mirror for a while?”

“Yeah,” you said smiling. The brothers were so sweet when they weren’t driving each other mad, it always touched you. You loved that thing. “Do you remember when I said, to that girl, Marie, that I didn’t need a symbol to know what my brother meant to me?”

You nodded, wiping more tears off your soaked cheeks.

“You don’t need a symbol to know how much I love you, but…they are everywhere. So remember me, all the time, OK? When you hear Zeppelin, when you see an episode of Scooby Doo you know I’d love, any burger, EVERY pie…”

You laughed through the tears. “You do love pie!”

“Hell yeah, I love pie!…” he said, emphatic and like a lovable idiot, like your lovable idiot. “Remember everything I taught you about being strong and cool and smart and bad ass….” he said, trying hard to make you laugh.

“Erm…..”

“OK, maybe just remember me. Remember everything we’ve shared. I know you are going to be alright. You’ll miss me. But I’ll miss you. Hell, everyone misses everybody in the end. But everything we’ve done and everything we’ve shared, oh baby….that’s the good stuff, right there.”

And though your faces were still wet from tears and you still wished it wasn’t happening, when he leaned over and kissed you deeply you let it all fade away. You spent the next few hours kissing and touching and being close. You’d make love and talk. You’d hold each other and reminisce.

“Remember me….after…ok?” He’d said.

“Always,” You’d replied, “..until I see you again.”

Dean Winchester was a hero. He was also the funniest, sweetest, sexiest, most bad ass man you’d ever known. Goodbye was inevitably going to hurt, you knew it. When he dropped you off, the next morning, you didn’t want to get out of the Impala. You knew he needed to get on with the next part of his story and go be with Sam but, for a moment, you couldn’t will your body to move.

He reached over, closing the gap between you in the front seat. As ever, he looked sexy and handsome, and as ever, his kiss felt like magic. He pulled away, but left his forehead resting on yours for a moment.

“You remember what I said now, alright? Be brave and strong, keep fighting, think about me – us - all the time. Watch those videos I know you have on your phone, look at photos of us. Know how much I love you, how much I’ll always love you no matter where I am or what happens. Don’t be too sad OK? You are too pretty to be sad,” he kissed you again, “it’s all been so special, Y/N, I don’t think that can ever truly end, y’know…like even if I’m not around, it’s still real, it’s still there.’

“Oh God, I can handle you being this offensively handsome but now you’re going to be wise too?” You forced a laugh you didn’t feel, but you did it for him. “Thanks for everything, for being there when no one else was, for making things better, for making me…better.” You paused knowing whatever you said right now, would never be enough, but knowing he knew that too. “Dean Winchester, I’ll love you forever.”

“You too baby, forever”

You kissed again, and forced yourself out of the car you loved and away from the man you loved. You got your bags from the backseat and smiled at Dean. The way he looked, the way he moved, it would be impossible to forget. You knew you never could.

He stuck his head out of the car and said “Hey, I got you this from the Gas n Sip.”

You looked in the bag and saw a container, with a slice of pie and a plastic fork in it. You smiled and looked at him quizzically.

He winked at you. “I meant it, think of me with EVERY slice of pie.”

You laughed, more at how ridiculous, albeit adorable he was, than anything else.

“Well, handsome, thanks for saving the world. Again. I’ll be seeing you.” You said, stepping back from the car.

“Oh, you’ll see me again, sweetheart. Whenever that is, it’s going to be a good day, I promise you that.” And with that he started the car, letting the old classic rock fill the air and drove off, blowing you a kiss, turning up the volume and being a goddamn hero, like always.


End file.
